Things Not To Say To Someone Who Is TTC

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. It's very hard to know exactly what to say to someone who is TTC because trying to have a baby is not a one-size-fits-all experience. It can be so easy to say the wrong thing to someone when you're TTC and so easy to be hurt by someone's words when you're the one who's trying to have a baby. Likewise, it's so easy to put your foot in it when you are talking to someone else who is trying to have a baby, even when your situations might seem quite similar from the outside.

The problem is that it is so hard not to slip into clichés when someone is having a hard time having a baby. And although you mean well, saying the wrong thing to an emotionally charged woman can have explosive results. The best thing to do is just to listen, give hugs and send good thoughts for the next cycle because let's face it, everyone likes hugs and good thoughts!

Here are some things that I try hard not to say to anyone on the AIP board - and that I hope no one says to me!

1) (To someone starting TTC) "Oh, good luck! It took 3 and a half long years to conceive our son..." - That's not going to instil hope or confidence in anyone!

2) (To someone who has been TTC for a long time) "Oh, really? I fell on my first try/was taking the pill when I got pregnant!" - Good for you, not very helpful for me!

3) "Why don't you try NTNP and forget about TTC for a while?" - Because it's not that easy to go backwards when you've been trying and know your body inside out! Quick, hide that EWCM! Deny the O pains at all costs! Be gone, BBT!

4) "Why don't you stop charting and worrying about when you ovulate?" - Uh, because I'm TTC and I need to have sex when I ovulate, duh!

5) "Stop trying to make a baby and start having sex for fun!" - for one thing, unfortunately sex isn't fun for everyone, and for another, whoever said baby-making sex wasn't fun?!

6) "You should be thankful for the children you have been blessed with." This really irks me. As someone who was diagnosed with Endo at 20 I count my blessings every day. I never stop feeling thankful for being a mother. I just long for the chance to be a mother to another child too.

7) "When are you going to give up?" - Nothing like having faith that it's gonna happen...

8) "Just relax and it'll happen!" - Relaxing does not always make a baby! Yeah, I just leaned back, got comfy and a baby popped out...

9) "You want to try having sex every day from AF until you O." - You want to try having chronic fatigue syndrome and attempt to do it more than two nights in a row?!

10) and the most annoying of them all... "Maybe this just wasn't your month." Yeah, I know that! The mega cramps, bleeding and negative pregnancy tests gave that away!

Yeah, maybe when you are TTC you should be able to get some kind of filter installed to stop you being oversensitive to things you hear.