Ostrich Eggs

I think I have ostrich eggs.

There is no way human eggs should be able to cause this much pain. I remember reading in a book when I was about to enter puberty that a human egg was about the size of a full stop. Well, mine seem to be about a billion times bigger than that by the pain one of the blighters is causing me tonight.

I've noticed that ovulation has become more dramatic every month over the last year or so. It's got to the point know where I swear my ovaries put on a full charity telethon event or tapdance spectacular. I have had painful ovulation for a long time but these days it's about as bad as when AF is in town.

I knew today was not going to be good when I POAS last night and got the darkest, angriest looking line I have EVER seen on an OPK. I swear it was so dark I heard it give an evil cackle as my ovary considered propelling the egg out with the power of a slingshot.

I also have been having a battle with my CBEFM. The first cycle I used it I found it awesome. It was like an intelligent being that knew my cycle better than I did. It predicted several days of high fertility and two peak days and let me know when to BD. The following month it kind of slacked off a bit and gave me a day or two of high fertility and a peak day it hardly put any effort into thinking about.

Well, this month it has been slacking big-time. I think it fell asleep on CD6 and woke up this morning. After having dark OPKs for a couple of days and low fertility on my CBEFM, the monitor jolted itself awake with a loud snore, rubbed its sleepy eyes and realised that I was already ovulating.

The peak reading with the little picture of the eggy wasn't really the warning you expect from a fertility monitor when you are already doubled over with O pain and are drowning in EWCM.

I have told it that unless it bucks up its ideas we are SOOOOOOOOO over, man.