The Gender Question

I have made a slightly selfish decision.

In just over 2 weeks we will be finding out if this baby is a little girl or boy. I am really excited and looking forward to it so much but there's one thing that's getting me down, and that is the thought of other people's reactions.

It was bad enough when we discovered Natasha was a girl. I was over the moon - I really didn't have a preference but there was a part of me that was thrilled that I would be having two children of the same gender. I liked the thought that they could grow up with a real sisterly bond. I'd have felt the same if our first child had been a boy and we had another son. I was brimming over with excitement when I told my friends and family and I was not prepared for the slightly sympathetic looks and the disappointed sighs.

"Oh dear... Maybe you'll have a boy next time."

"Ohh.... I'm sorry. You were wanting a boy, weren't you?"

"Don't you know how to make boys?"

"Oh. Another girl."

"Was your husband very disappointed?"

It really hurt our feelings, especially my husband who was constantly portrayed as being desperate for a son, just because the father is 'supposed' to want a boy.

Not everyone responded this way of course. People with two or more children of the same gender excitedly told me how much fun it was going to be to watch them grow up together, others who knew what we went through conceiving Angelica were just thrilled for us to have another healthy baby on the way, but there were so many others who seemed to have a very narrow opinion of what a family was supposed to be.

I know I am in a lose/lose situation with baby number three. If (as I suspect) this is a boy all I'm going to hear is how 'thrilled' I must be that I'm having a boy this time. If it's another girl (as my husband suspects) then all I'll hear is how 'sorry' they are that I'm not having a boy. I just don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear either of those responses. We didn't want a 'boy' or a 'girl' - we just wanted another member of the family to love, to laugh with, to learn with, to grow with. Whether this is a boy or a girl makes no difference to us, except that I'll know whether to buy a blue or a pink blanket and whether my DH or I will win our bet!

It's taken me months to feel safe and settled in this pregnancy so I'm not going to let anyone else's views on gender ruin the rest of it for me. We've decided to keep the gender to ourselves, aside from a few select people. Yes, I'll be shouting it from the rooftops on here but to those we know IRL the story is that baby will be keeping its legs tightly closed. Who knows - he or she still might!

All I want to know is that the baby is healthy and doing just what he or she should be doing. I'm excited and nervous all at once, but I'm not going to let anyone's stupid comments ruin a happy day. Two weeks and two days to go!